25 BILLION

25 Billion

This book is dedicated to 7 Billion People who have

25 billion dreams,

25 billion hopes,

25 billion mistakes,

And 25 billion success

Introduction

First of all thank you! Yes, you…the one reading this. Just by merely opening this book you already showed interest on what is inside. Whether you’ll stop right here because you think this will make no sense, go ahead it is your choice. But if you want to go on and continue reading, well let me tell you that this is not a book about successful stories or to tell you how successful I am, because I am not… just yet.

It was just like when you have thoughts and ideas, most of the time you will not realize you have those in your mind unless you listen to what it is about to say and reveal yourself to the world. This is exactly what I am supposed to do – to listen to myself. Have you tried using the earphone or headphone with your MP3 on? If your answer is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ whenever you did, you could barely hear yourself. Chances are when you sing or when you talk while listening to the music, you will not notice how loud you have become. And that is pretty annoying to others.

So I took some time, and listen to what my mind has to say…

Some 25 Billion years ago there were probably… no Football, no hybrid cars, no chocolate, no concerts, no bills, no pills, no planes, no philosophy, no religion and a very likely chance that there is no My Space, Google, Twitter, Yahoo and Facebook! And no pre-marital sex, no gossips, no adultery, no corruption, no violence, and no malice – this is my theory.

Try to think of the phrase that says: What goes around comes all the way back around. What if 25 Billion years ago all of these things were already discovered, built, founded, and invented? And a star’s explosion destroyed them all and turned them into tiny bits of pieces that even a microscope could not represent. Billion years after billion years this tiny little dusts collided and collided and so on and so forth until another solar system was born wherein our planet come to life again!

This is not another ‘Big Bang Theory’, but this is my personal theory, nobody knows what exactly happened 25 billion years ago, 25 billion months ago, 25 billion days ago, and even 25 billion hours, minutes, and seconds ago, no one could tell you what happened and what they did and they could even care less to formulate and figure out what. Because when you think of the word “Billion” you could immediately imagine an infinite line of people, a countless fortune, or an unimaginable period. That is the power of billion – to leave you in awe. But life is crazily short, so why not think like a “billionized” person. Not like a billionaire, but a billionized.

Billionized is to think beyond an average person’s thoughts. You don’t only think of waking up the next morning and run some errand but you think of waking up the next morning and be thankful for that another wonderful day that will give you another chance to do better and bathe yourself with success! And yes, there is no such word as “billionized”. I just made that up. Why? It’s not that I want to billionize the world; it’s just that I want to be in-a-way-creative. As simple as that, instead of saying long lines on how we should not be afraid of going out of our comfort zones. And when we do, it’s going to be uncomfortable out there and could be really scary, but we must do it every now and then. Whether the outcome is a success or a failure, we won’t know it unless we try – there I said those lines anyway!

If things fail sometimes you got to do it again and master the formula. And if it was a success, well you got to do it again, who knows, you’re first try might just be a coincidence! But hey, it is a case to case basis; you might have raised your eyebrows earlier and disagreed, which is why I am telling you that this is a case to case basis. A case to case basis! You might have heard this line: I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work by Thomas Edison. Thanks to his patience and perseverance, darkness isn't that dark after all... Imagine if he gave up after his third error, his tenth, or his one thousandth?

I

Be Billionized

LOSER – some people feel that way. They may be really are, and that is a good sign. Recognizing what you really are is a positive attitude towards life. Some people doesn’t know how loser they are, since most of the time they talk more and listen less, and they walk faster without noticing a step and boom!

When you feel like you are nothing but an empty glass, with nothing and with no one. No talents, no skills, and you feel terribly bad about it. I am telling you, that is a good sympathy for yourself. What is bad is when you feel this kind of emptiness but at the end of the day you feel good. Chances are you will get used to the feeling and live like that day in and day out. Does it bother you? No, because you are hassle free, with no obligation, no plans for tomorrow and you are just plainly breathing. Does it bother the people around you? No, because you believe you have no one. You might be right. There are millions of people here in our planet that has no one but themselves. And they don’t care; life goes on until their world stops spinning.

But why I say it is good that you feel bad about your situation? Because you know there is something wrong. And when you feel that way you are not hopeless at all. If there is something wrong, there is something right as well. Now here is what you should do to make everything alright, yes you have read it right – EVERYTHING:

1. Dream on and keep on dreaming. Dream anything. Imagine everything that you desire – this will serve as your inspiration, not your goal. Why? Because inspiration will stimulate you and will give you reason to get up. Just as the car needs gas to run. Goal is an ambition that is too specific, you’ll tend to work yourself out to reach your target, and you might not be able to see detours in case the road is blocked or if a bridge got burnt. So forget your goal, and just keep on dreaming!

2. Back to reality – after you had your dreams you will have two choices. Whether you go back to sleep and continue dreaming or you get up and do something to make your dreams come true. And of course, you should get up and do something about it.

3. Breathe – along the way you will get tired and exhausted. And when you do, there is nothing better to do than rest. Like a battery, you too need recharging. Empty your mind of worries, just think of nothing and no one but to regain your strength.

4. Break free – during your ride to live your dreams, at one point you will reach the expressway. And when you do, do not be afraid to speed up and pace up. Other motorist slower than you are there, don’t hesitate to over take and enjoy the feeling of superiority. Others drive faster, don’t hesitate to slowdown and give way as to avoid collisions and future disaster. This is the time where you enjoy the ride, while having fun; you are still precautious and humble.

5. You can use the entire alphabet – when you got passed the expressway you’ll have to choose which minor road you are heading, the highway through the big city, or the rough road through a country (small town). So are you going to follow your heart? Well probably, yes, but your brain is bigger. You know the big city has a lot of things to offer and it is so much fun out there, but you haven’t tried visiting the place yet. The other path to the country is very familiar and you’ve been there and you suck, are you going to give the country another try and maybe you’ll do better this time? Or try your luck in the city and be courageous to face the bright lights? Your option now is A for the country and B for the big city. If option A doesn’t work out fine, why not give it another try, or better yet choose option B. If both of them sucks choose option C, it really doesn’t matter! After all there are 26 letters in the alphabet for you to choose from.

II

Because You Suck!

The dept is high and the fund is low. You bet and you lose. You ran and you got caught. You gave trust and you were betrayed. You fly and you fell. You were excited but got disappointed. You drink and you got drunk. You played the piano and it was out of tune… So many times you have tried but did not make it to the finish line. You are down again. You are with people but you feel so alone and left behind. It seems like the world is spinning too fast that you cannot catch up. The other day it just felt like the world has stopped spinning and all you can see is the color gray. You think everything is wrong but the truth is… everything is okay!

Life is a matter of choice, and committing mistakes is not the end of it. Mistake will not make you less of a person. You could always learn something from it. Even if most of the time you could learn from it the hard way, so just be prepared to deal with the consequences of your every action. It could make you feel scared, ashamed, depressed, or bothered, but you should always be responsible for every action that you have done, it could be against your will or not.

This line may sound a cliché but consider this anyway: There is a rainbow always after the rain – this will give you a promise of hope. It may take some time, quite a long time, or even a lifetime. But don’t fret; you are responsible for what you have done. Just face the music and dance with it.

To sum up the mentioned steps on making everything alright is a simple formula:

Dream + Perseverance + Rest + Fun + Open Mind = EVERYTHING ALRIGHT!

It is also important to remember that whenever you are in a perfect, flawless road with no traffic, no check points, and no heavy rains and nothing but beautiful sunshine – be scared, chances are, you are in a wrong way. Yes, life is restless, crazy, noisy, exciting, and full of ups and downs and it should be, because life is the opposite of death, where it is serene, peaceful, and steady.

Life is full of imperfections, and through its imperfection you were able to differentiate beauty from dreadful presentations. Picture a world that is perfectly good. Filled with good citizens, good events, and everything is attractive. Would you ever have the chance to be good? Would you know how to be thankful to God that your Chemistry Professor is very nice? Would you be able to appreciate what you have? And the answer is NO.

Because, when everything is good, there is no need for you to be good. When someone’s trying to annoy you; that is your opportunity to be good. When someone is in pain with an empty stomach; that is your opportunity to share, and when someone is being cruel to you; that is your opportunity to appreciate the ones who are nice to you. Life is like that, it is complicatedly simple. All you have to do is to live with it, roll with it and never miss an opportunity. For in every bad situation, there is a good opportunity.

When a lot of things are missing, there are a lot of things to look forward to. And if your life sucks, then your life rocks!

III

Yes You Know, but No You Don’t

Patience is a virtue, yes you know it. But no you really don’t. You want to make yourself believe that good things come to those who wait. But you are running out of patience again. Asking God again, why? When? How? You are bored, tired, and can’t hardly wait. But you know that patience is a virtue, but no you don’t, and if you do, you would still be happy waiting, hopeful and still keep on dreaming and doing something to make your dreams come to reality.

But you are exhausted. You think of giving up and barely hanging on. You are about to lose your grip and wondering why the guy you ever wanted hasn’t come yet, your dream job isn’t available yet, you’re career is still out of your reach, these big changes are still out of sight. You know you have to wait, but you don’t want to wait any longer! This is perfectly normal.

Human nature, we know what’s the difference of good from bad and from worse. But still we chose not to choose the good sides, because we don’t really know anything about it. At time you’ll have an argument with yourself saying that you know, but you’re not sure, and you’ll end up saying ‘what ever’. It is because you don’t really know!

So how do you know that you really understood the saying “Patience is a virtue”? First, let me tell you what patience is in my own point of view. Patience is an attitude towards life that you are waiting for something and that you understood that it will come to you at a perfect time, and the perfect time is God’s time. No matter how you pray for it to come on your specified date, it won’t if he thinks you have to have it later than that, or maybe earlier! No matter how you pray for it to come and if God thinks you don’t deserve it, because you deserve much better, it won’t come! Patience is an attitude towards life with a positive hope, an open mind and heart. When you are waiting for something, it might come at your preferred time and desired package, but it may also arrive sooner, later, or never, and you may have it at a whole different package – and it may have already come, it is just that you were not able to recognize it because you are too focus on that specific thing that you wanted.

Patience is when you live one day at a time and singing for the moment, enjoying every second of it, despite of all the hurricanes that will come your way. Each day you are thankful for all the things that happened to you, expected or not, good or bad. And you are also thankful that you don’t have everything that you want in life, just yet, because you have a lot of things to look forward to. Patience is an exciting approach towards life. Because you are happy of the thought that one day, you will be completely, complete. That is why patience is a high merit, and a virtue that is not only to be read, said, and heard, but a virtue to be understood and lived by.

But sometimes the feeling of waiting patiently could make you feel like you are in a process of a very special kind of torture. It seems like you have a lot of time wasted just waiting for something. Well, as what I have said, life is a matter of choice. We could always say ‘what if’ in a positive way. Not the ‘what if’ in a negative way like: “What if I’ll just lose?”, “What if I won’t make it?” or “What if they won’t understand?”, but think of the ‘what if’ in a positive aspect: “What if you’ll win?”, “What if you can?” or “What if that thing you are waiting for is also waiting for you?”

The last ‘what if’ question could be the answer to that feeling that you felt – the feeling of waiting in vein. With that said and understood, then stop waiting, get up and do something, and start looking for it. Again, search with Patience. And only two things will happen. Either you will find it, because you searched patiently enough. Or you will never find it, because your patience is not enough and you gave up. But remember, when you are tired and exhausted, there is nothing better to do than rest. And after that, you can start searching all over again.

But as soon as you feel that the search doesn’t make you feel any better, then this is the time to stop. And when you do, this will not mean that you have given up. You are just heading to a different direction.

If you can’t find the right person for you, be the right person for everyone. Not all of them will appreciate you, you know that! But not all of them will dislike you too. If you can’t find the right job for you, then build the right job for you! And don’t forget, when you try to climb a mountain, you don’t start from the top. You start from its lowest point.

Patience must go with you, anywhere and everywhere you go. For patience comes with perseverance and hope – your very key to success. Now you know and now I know. But the choice is always ours to take. And no matter how old we get, we will always have a lot of growing up to do when it comes to patience.

And you know that the golden rule is: Do unto others, what you want others do unto you – by Confucius. It is as simple as treating others like how we wanted to be treated. But we are blinded by our emotions and could not realize how unkind we were until our time to cry has come. Just like a fellow once said, be kind to the world, and the world will be kind to you. But we always miss that opportunity to be kind.

There you are, you know a lot of things, but because you are thinking so much ahead of your brain can, you were able to understand only a few. Don’t worry you are not alone. You’re just like everybody else. The thing is you always have a choice to be better, just like everybody else. And you can be better, like the tiny part of the population who are now in the process of trying hard to be better. It may be really hard, but at least they are trying.

IV

In Living Life: Be Careful or Be Carefree?

Lifestyle differs from one person to another. And sometimes it depends on what we feel inside.

Earl likes to drive fast and has endless nights in bars and casinos. James is obsessed with his job that he stays at work longer than he stays at home and he would rather have meetings than hang out with his friends. While Jimmy doesn’t like to work with papers and hates the city noise, he opted to stay at home and do some gardening services.

Earl’s bank account is unimaginable being the sole heir of their clan’s wealth. James is the bread winner of his family of five. Jimmy lives alone and grew up as an orphan. Earl, James, and Jimmy have a whole different lifestyle. Earl is living life the carefree way, just having fun and doing what he wants. James is very careful, doesn’t want to spend a single dime for pleasure and fun, all he ever wanted is to work very hard for his family. While Jimmy’s life is careless, if he wants to be carefree or he has to be careful, he doesn’t care. All he does is to do his work, to survive; he doesn’t care what’s happening, what happened, and what will happen.

The world reveals to us the story of those three young men. And this story could teach us two things in life. First, don’t be like Earl nor be like James. Earl is having too much fun, while James is having too much work. There is nothing wrong to be carefree and have fun, there is nothing wrong to be careful and work hard, but having too much is too much! And second, if you should not be like Earl nor be like James, this doesn’t mean you live like Jimmy – a man who doesn’t know how to have fun and work hard.

So what now? Be like a little bit of Earl, and be like a little bit of James! But never become Jimmy, not even a little bit like him. It is either you party hard and work harder, or you work hard and party harder. When you are partying be precautious still. And when you are working, take time to have fun every once in a while. As simply as talking to your workmate with light issues or just humming a song, are good practices on having fun while working.

Jimmy is just living, and he is plainly breathing. Yes, he might not be doing things that could be against the will of God, but neither has he done things in the will of God.

It is not important how clean living you are, or how worse your kind of lifestyle is. What is important is that you have done something good, not only for others, but for yourself as well. It will not help you when you choose to be neutral. Like in politics, you should choose your side. This is not favoritism but this is standing on what you believe in. Think of a situation when you are being asked which side are you and your answer is ‘I don’t know, I am not taking sides’, is it the safest answer to say that made you feel guarded from criticisms? No. For short, you are just playing safe. You’re not on the good side. Neither you are in the bad side.

You may feel guarded and secured when you play neutral, but you must understand the importance of taking sides and understanding the situation. Be carefree; don’t be afraid to stand for what you believe in, for this will give you name and honor. It is not important which side you are with, the fact that you are not afraid on letting the world know what your belief is, is great enough.

Go ahead! Get involve, take side! Just be careful in choosing which side are you. You might fall under the enemy’s hand.

Being carefree is having freedom. The entire population might not appreciate you; fair enough, because even you can’t appreciate all of them too. So speak up! You just don’t know how much the world wants to hear from you. If you feel like bursting out, let it be, for it is always better out than in.

When you are having the best days of your life – enjoying your freedom, this is also the time when you have to be careful, the more you run around, the greater your chances of falling are. The more your appetite gets stronger, the more you’ll eat more than you needed. So be carefree, but be careful.

V

Why One Needs Not to Live

One morning when I woke up I felt terrible about myself. I am wondering what better things to do. And asking myself what am I living for? If freedom is an adjective that gives us more meaning to life, then I might not be living at all. Okay, this chapter is not about my story, don’t worry I’m not going to waste your very precious time reading something about me.

This is something about the time when one person feels like she or he is at the lowest point of her or his life. An unending reason could be behind that kind of sorrow, a death of a loved one or beloved pet, a loss to something very valuable, or even you favorite team’s loss, it could already deliver a feeling of loneliness, emptiness, you feel so down and sleepy, it seems like every step you take is fighting so much against the gravity.

People have already judged you and so your name was gone. You feel like enough is enough, there is no more reason to witness the day after you. You see the horizon as nothing but a pointless journey. You want to give your family and friends pride and honor but you know you no longer have it. Should you want to regain it, but even your own hands won’t listen to your mind, as if they have their own minds smarter than yours.

At the deepest part of your heart you want to scream and tell everyone who have criticized you that like them you are human too. You commit mistake, and you are just one of the victims of an old ugly system. But another part of your heart also says, you had the chance to say ‘no’ when everybody else are expecting you to say ‘yes’.

When the former Armed Forces of the Philippines Chief of Staff, late Angelo Reyes said in one of his notes before he took his own life on the 8^th of February 2011 -- Living life without honor is a tragedy bigger than death itself. I could not think of other opposing lines but agree with him.

He was a great man; but I too have been one of his silent criticizers. I judged him like hundreds or thousands of Filipino citizens who care about this very dysfunctional government. Does Reyes deserve those criticisms and judgments? Well, like some generals if not all, leaders of our nation and dishonest citizens for that matter, yes he does. And from the fact that he took his own life to preserve what ever honor is left for him, in my very own court room he is already guilty with the multi-million corruption beyond reasonable doubt. What he does is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. He did not man that up like a true and courageous soldier. So from his words, he clearly says that he would rather have death than lose his honor. But at the end of the day he lost his life and unfortunately he has lost the remaining honor he has too. He acknowledged his mistakes and only great man does, but sadly, he was not strong enough to face the consequences and chose the shorter way out. Yes he was great, but at the last minute of his life he chose to commit mistake again, for he could have been greater.

I am not in a position to judge and conclude others, especially someone like Reyes. But I must say not only to you, but to myself as well, hope may come, hope may go, we may gain the entire honor, and lose some of it, no matter how strong the storm, cyclone, or hurricane can be, and the disaster may bring us harm and even death, face it and after all these mishap, you don’t owe the world any explanation, for in times like these, only God can explain, so let Him talk and all you have to do is listen. After all, honor is not measured by the number of people who are not on your side, but it is measured by the people who believe in you, even if there could only be three of them or two.

Feeling sad, feeling bad, and feeling like the world is on your shoulder, is a feeling that is way better than feeling nothing at all. One day you feel hopeless, tired, and exhausted, remember and don’t forget that there is nothing else better to do than rest. Take it from this famous line ‘You have to bleed just to know you’re alive’. Be alive, feel bad, feel glad, but never feel bare – only zombies do.

Yes, ‘life without honor is a tragedy bigger than death itself’. Honor needs hard work and honesty to achieve so it should be greater than, for death doesn’t need hard work and honesty and could come naturally anywhere and anytime, but through illness and accident alone. It is okay to lose some honor, for you can always work hard to preserve what is left. As for the death, just wait for it and don’t force it, everyone’s entitled to die. But no one is entitled to take your life away, not even yourself.

VI

Everybody’s Scared

A seven-year-old kid once said that when he grows up he want to be a… whistle blower! So to clarify, a dictionary defines ‘whistle blower’ as an informant who exposes wrongdoing within an organization in the hope of stopping it.

At some point in our lives, in one roof, and even in one room, some circumstances occur and everybody knows that that circumstance is irritating and maybe dangerous, you know exactly what is going on and so as the others, but nobody dared to react… because sadly, everybody’s scared. When a rich man or someone in a higher position tells a joke, corny or not you have to appear entertained and laugh. When your boss is giving his speech you have to stand or at least sit and give him a round of applause. This is respect. This is ethical. And this is good.

However, when you knew your boss is doing something crooked and you knew everybody knows it, what will you do? Build an alliance? Lead a people power and rally? Be brave enough to have a conversation with the person whom you knew responsible for every dilemma your company is undertaking? Or just keep your mouth shut and wait for someone who is brave enough to raise his hand and raise everyone’s concern?

Hours passed, days became weeks, weeks turn into months, months to years, and decades, and until your lifetime is over the hideous system way older than you is still alive and even multiplying for the generations after you.

Were you really scared or did you love it? Scared of being accused and judged? Or you have loved it because you have benefited from that? You may say neither. You had no choice. This is the system you were born in, and you will die with the same system. The pursuit to the real life is indeed very long and chaotic, that is why everybody wants to take the short cut. A wise choice perhaps, but short cuts are most of the time dangerous. These are road less traveled. So you have to gamble. And by gambling it is a win or a loss. You may arrive earlier, later, and the worst, you might not arrive at all. Why take shortcuts after all? Possible answers: You may be in a hurry to get rich, to get famous, or to get satisfied.

Have you found out the number one reasons of car accidents? Well, according to the World Health Organization, the number one threat to drivers is the drivers themselves.

In your life you are the driver. You make the choice to turn left, right, try the short cut, or take a U-turn to go back on the street you have missed. You take the wheel. And it is either you drive slowly but surely, or drive fast and with accuracy. After all, life is not a race, it is not whoever comes first, it is not about winning the prize, and it is about joining the race and making it to the finish line. Yes, the finish line matters the most. You may have the longest time lapse, but you were able to finish the race smooth and sound, or maybe bruised it doesn’t matter. What matters the most is that you finish what you have started.

On the contrary, it is not always the case. You might have started something where it feels so good but you know it is not right. Then pull over. These kind of race will take you to camp no where. Sometimes you have to quit the race. Not every race is worth fighting for. And some games are better left unfinished. Don’t be afraid. A lot of people may not be strong enough to kiss this game goodbye because they are afraid. And to pamper themselves they will look for any irrelevant reasons to keep fighting and never think of quitting. They find ways to entertain themselves and ignore the guilt they feel inside.

These kinds of people are everywhere. They are the ones who can’t say no. They are afraid to be branded as quitter or even as traitor, traitor because they were not loyal enough to stick with the old filthy system. They justify themselves by saying they just want to live a peaceful life. Not knowing that life with conditional guilty pleasures is not peaceful at all. Not knowing that loyalty is not measured by allowing bad come to worse. This is no longer loyalty. This is conspiracy. And you cannot say that that is respect, for that is what you call cowardly.

So when everybody’s scared will you be scared too? This is not heroism or taking pride and glory. This is doing something, what you are supposed to do. Not what your boss is supposed to do, not what the entire government is supposed to do, but what you are supposed to do. You don’t have to be rich, famous, genius, strong, or someone that is somebody. All you have to have is a heart not for change, but for improvement. It is going be impossible for you to bring your entire household along with you over night. For this may even take you a lifetime, but don’t fret. You may not be able to see even at least half of the population improved, but it is always good to know that somehow, somewhere, part of tomorrow’s improvement… big or small, started in you.